If light sadness due to happy memories is appropriate and understandable, then the pain and an irresistible desire to repeat everything is not very. We begin to delve into our memory, try to reproduce events in the present and eventually strengthen our torment. As if we play with us in a game, where all the heroes, situations and feelings are torn from reality. Why is this happening? And how to learn to remember the past without tearing the soul? The psychologist tells.

From the point of view of psychology, we are quite capable of crossing out the bad and traumatic memories from memory, but we do this, as a rule, only if we cannot cope with them in the present.

In particular, if in childhood situations of more negative nature took place with us than positive, if there were no adults nearby and no one helped us, then our brain blocks memories. And does it immediately «wholesale». It is for this reason that some of us can remember absolutely nothing of a certain period of life, as if there was a perfect emptiness.

Memories save or harm?

Any thoughts about the past are able to harm or, conversely, benefit our health. And if the brain blocked the memory of some events, it means that this.

There is a reverse situation: you coped with a negative event or it has occurred at adulthood. In this case, the brain does not specifically block these memories and saves them into a specific “file” – so that the next time when similar circumstances arise, you are careful. And thereby maintained their health and psycho -emotional stability.

But if negative events do not concern our life in a global sense, then their brain “wipes” them a little. So that we do not focus on the negative, do not go regret or depressive states. And this also protects our psyche.

We can harm ourselves with memories, https://mercyvidaysalud.com/2023/08/15/up-x-dostupnye-frispiny-oficialnyj-onlajn-sajt-2/ focusing on the past and living only. Then we show the state of the so -called “eternal sacrifice”, which is not ready to take responsibility for the results of his life. It is easier for people with such a character warehouse to delve into the past than to live in the present. And they do it more often unconsciously, since it seems to them that it used to be good, but now it is useless to do something-it will still be bad. As a result, any memory will be detrimental.

How to understand that you are fixated in the past

It seems that happy memories make you suffer

Torment and regrets about past even joyful, in your opinion, events appear when you idealize what happened. Each time we mentally turn to a memory, the brain rewrites it in accordance with our desires and requests, “sharing” negative details.

For example, if a person aged 40-50 years with longing recalls an event that occurred 20-30 years ago, then it will radically differ from what it really was. All negative details are erased, only a fantastic blue dream remained.

You miss opportunities

With manic fixation in the past, we come to the surface of dissatisfaction with life, ourselves, events surrounding people. We initially look at our present and future biased, while we do not see, do not look and do not want to look for opportunities.

Thoughts are so chained in fear of responsibility that it is better to immerse about the past and not meet face to face with the results in your life. And if the opportunity appears on the horizon, to leave the Tyran’s husband, change his work or place of residence, a person chooses a flight and position in which all failures fall into life itself.

How best to remember the past

If you recognized yourself in the description above, then the first thing you are to answer the questions: “What I want in my life?»,» What results I want to come to?»,» What I want to have?». Having received answers to them, you must understand and accept the main rule: “Either we live in the present and, based on today’s reality, we change our lives and influence the future, or we continue to delve into the past and suffer”. Will not be able to suffer by the past and build your future at the same time.

If you have large -scale negative events, then to facilitate your condition you need to look at the present from the point of view of gratitude and what you have already achieved. Stay at the time of “here and now”, then the past will cause not suffering and mental torment, but slight sadness or quiet, calm joy.